It's all coming together..... Sort of

So this week has been quite good. I'm currently on a ram packed bus, as usual when I write these things, but when else do I have stupid amounts of time left over when I'm not watching dexter :/!

Anyway last weekend, Friday was chilled and alcohol free waiting for the arrival of Ivy, my little bundle of joy and Bolton Shaun. Irish Shaun and I stayed up late chating utter crap and being told off by my neighbour for doing my washing at 12 at night! The annoying things is all week Sunday-Thursday everyone in our block is loud and not just load but doing some weird type of something that causes noise! My up stairs neighbour sounds like she has some form of toddler running around in heels at all hours, choir and band practice not to mention everything else, it's like the second we get into bed everyone else wakes up. It stops around 12 and stars again at 6. So as bad as it sounds I seriously don't give a shit if my washing machine is loud at 12 for twenty minutes. We wake up stupidly early and Shaun arrives. After getting ready we head to Carrefour and meet ivy on the way. After buying pretty much half of Carrefour we ram our selves in to a taxi and head home and for some stupid reason think it's a good idea to start drinking at 3pm! We have a busy day a head of us. So ivy makes cabanara! Unreal. I make the sangria and the day begins. Jack arrives, then jade arrives and we head to the Christmas lights party! 

There was a live tiny Chinese choir! It was  so amazing and cute! There was free champers and prosecco and pate! I was beyond happy. Along with muld wine! I then made friends with small children and one who had eczema which delighted Irish Shaun no end, look at his face! 

So after raiding the kitchens and making friends with the head chefs, getting a grand tour...

And ensuring the owner I will be back with my parents for what looked like the most succulent steak I have seen in a very very long time, we head back to mine. For more sangria... Can you see where this is going, sangria, muled wine, prosecco and champers on one plate of carbonara and some pate and crackers.... Yeah well. After another complaint from the neighbours at 10pm we head to the electric underground night. We enter, we scatter! Shots of tequila, dancing on stage and bumping in to cherman (that's the Chinese German man I went on a date with, Sarah named him, I like it) anyway I don't remember much more than becoming an awful state! Some say I wasn't bad Bolton Shaun ensures me I was a frigging mess! So I wake up at home in bed. Which is always good. I'm told me Shaun Shaun and Lorraine had a full on fight on my carpet! And another knock from the neighbours came. I'm surprisingly not to bad. So the plan of the day is to veg! And veg we did, 5 quilts, 9 pillows, 4 bodies, lots of bacon sandwichs and part one and two of the hunger games the day is complete. Later we try all means possible to get a pizza delivered to the flat! Epic fail so I cook veggie stew! Whilst waiting for dinner to be ready im scrolling through fb and see the lad I was seeing back home has a new gf! Fantastic! My appitite evaporates immediately! And I huge wave of pathetic sadness comes over me! I'm blaming the hangover. I then dwell over this which is stupid but I'm now over it, I'm happy for him, we all wonder what ifs, and there pointless. I'm sure this is what inspired my horrendous nightmare during the week. Anyway. Monday still feeling like shit I have class at 8 I arrive do my teacher service while looking for flights to Aus! I find one, and then head back to find ivy has sweeped my flat and made my bed! I actually LOVE this girl!

I wish I could keep her for ever! I want to take her with me everywhere. Not only is she beautiful, kind and lovely she's hilarious and doesn't quite realise this is the reason she is actually attracting men from all angels! Anyway after agreeing we're all going to get redic dressed up for the Christmas party. Ivy heads home and I book my flight to Aus! Woop! 

I receive a text from my student who agreed to teach me Pilates if I teacher her English and cook her dinner! Well this was a fab idea on Friday I'm now dying and can't think of anything worse! But I'm so glad I agreed to still do it, she is so lovely! I actually finally, 3 months in made a Chinese friend! Shes funny, her English is great and she's a fab teacher. Her lessons are normally 250¥and hour so in all fairness I feel the deals not really fair but she wants to continue until June when we leave so that's a bonus. Next week it's Pilates some other form of English food and film night! And on line shopping! Seriously how anyone cannot be friends because of race and nationality boggles my brain! You can't get much different than Chinese and English! And when it boils down to it we're still women. Which also makes me think of one of my students I was talking to this week. Potato I think Iv mentioned her before. She's one of my best students but this week she was really quite and looked close to tears, once the class was focused on a task I asked her if she was ok and she said no something had happened. So I told her if she wanted she could leave the lesson. She later messaged me to tell me what was wrong and after chatting for a while she told me she feels I'm more than a teacher to her I'm her friend too! Which was so wonderful, really touched me.

Btw I am so inflexible it's not even funny! She has given me flexi exercises! I plan to bending all over the place by Bali! That's the Pilates teacher btw.

Anyway Tuesday classes finished I get back into bed and do my lesson plan for my extra classes that evening. Then she tells me the time has been changed. Not helpful as I have a class after. So lesson one canceled. Head to the other which I normally love but the kids are complete arseholes today. I don't normally call 7 year olds arseholes but this week I will. With in the first 5 minutes two of them started fighting, the others poked me and then the lesson over ran a lot even though I got there early! So I wasn't happy! But I did buy some ear muffs and find a pizza place on the way home, as the diet was going so well I got us one! It was so good! Just like takeaway pizza from home. I made an agreement with the pizza men if they give me free pizza I will teach them English! Not sure I should agree to this. I'm finally happy with my weight. Mass achievement for any women! Anyway we eat pizza and book out first accomidation in Indonesia! Hotel! Anyone that reads this that's backpacked! If you don't know this hotels are always cheaper than hostels in Asia' I don't know why but they are! But always know where the hostels are to meet people. Wednesday my morning classes we're canceled I spent the day, actually I can't remember!  Oh yeah, I woke up at 12, made eggy bread and bacon for me and Lorraine ( I don't know how we're both losing weight!)I then went to my last class, come back to finally meet Eric and book my flight to Thailand! For Some reason it does not work!  4 times I try and it's so annoying the flight time is actually perfect. Anyway I head to my extra classes in town, that finished I head home, I think I'll try the new way my students advise. Metro to south station then bus home. So jump straight on the metro get off twenty minutes later and guess what? The buses have stopped running! Fantastic luckily I took money out with me for no reason! At least I got a lift to my door. I get home and finally book my flight! I'm then told my lessons are cancelled again today! Happy days. I wake up to a message from Sarah and literally spend 4 hours talking to her! Speaking with my friends makes life lighter! Does that sound stupid! I'm so close to my friends back home that being away its only hard because of them. I can handle the lot, everything china throws at me, language barriers, toilets even the smell of stinky tofu. But I miss them and my Family too! Always! But today my spirits had a massive lift so that was great. 

Oh also Wednesday I got offered a new job, stupidly good hours amazing money and down the road. Only down side I would be leaving Lorraine! And I actually love living with her. We have so much fun. I even like most of my students and my flat even though everything is falling apart at the moment. Anyway I think I'll speak to Michael because really I just want better hours so I can travel. Well this back fired the prick told me if I wanted to travel I should quit and not be a teacher. He then tells me I can get a 50000¥ fine and all this bullshit! The mans a bell end! 

So anyway today me and Lorraine are lay in bed watching 127 hours! (It's so good but bloody hell, no pun intended) anyway bang bang bang on the door you would think it was Sheldon! Mr Guo comes in waving around the laws of china and my contract. I tell him to slow down and listen to me. After I explain I want to stay but just want better hours, that Michael was rude and told me to leave and the fact the contract is actually invalid for many reasons as well as the fact they have not stuck to their side of the contract, by making us work extra hours we did not wish to do or that is stated in said contract and even after saying we wasn't going to do them they still gave us. I told him if I wasn't given the extra pay and my hours and days are not cut next term I am leaving and going back to England! I also said me and Lorraine want similar days off to travel together. He seemed all lovely and agreed, so one of two things will happen now! He will do as he says or he will fuck us over! But he said I will try get it so you work all your hours in 2 or 3 days! God I would be happy! But we will see. 

I then discover to old friends will be in Perth when I head over there! Lots of fun a head!!!! 

Anyway I'm just arriving at work, I say arriving I'm just getting  into town it's another running job I think. So best sign off! Hope I haven't rambled too much! 

Home sick

Well it only took 103 days for me to become home sick. And it's so silly really because my family is coming so soon. But it was all down to a stupid dream. I dreamt I had gone home early and my friends we're frosty and cold at a Christmas dinner I turned up at to surprise them, not only was they not pleased to see me they all went for a fag break and never came back. The man I was seeing before I left had met someone new what made it worse is she was lovely in my dream. I bumped into them in the pub that was out side in a woods and we had a talk all three of us, Which wasn't nice for anyone. Then I turned up at my house and nearly got arrested for breaking into my house and horrificly when me and said man got back together (the only nice part of the dream) we ended up in a car crash on the way to a mates wedding. The crash turned out to be a speed boat and we was left bobbing around in the sea. 

Now that is one messed up dream. And what annoys me most about dreams is I thought of it all. It was all there in my brain and I put it all together. My friends looks, the mans blantent honesty at trying to meet someone new to help get over me fucking off to the other side of the world then actually falling for her. But what made it worse is he kissed me and as it was just a dream it wasn't half as perfect. Which sadly makes me realise how easy it is to forget things that once were, to top it off I think he was just speaking my words. Anyone that knows me can clarify I'm emotionally damaged and I cannot commit to anyone with out fear, so the chances are I only think I want him because I'm the otherwise of the frigging world. Irony would be if Iv actually fucked up something wonderful. I guess we'll never know.

Now I'm sat in class trying not to be miserable at some stupid pissing dream that in reality means nothing. Because I know my friends still love me. And what ever happened with me and Rory is done and in reality I am happy for him I don't want him sat waiting for me because as much as I would like to be sometimes I'm just not that selfish! Realisticly the idea of something is always better than the reality and I will stick to my life motto everything happens for a reason!  

Being gay in China

Something I have been meaning to write about for a while, is homosexuality in China. As far as I was a where it's a taboo or at least something not spoken openly about. No where near as common or accepted as the western world especially England. But what is so curious is how metrosexual the society is and outright fabulous (said with a wave of the hand) the men behave. The men are preened, overtly camp and extremely feminine. This is in mass amounts of men as well, and flip reverse this the amount of lesbians could give Chorlten a run for it's money.

The thing that is worth pondering is whether they know they are gay, or if there friends do. Because it's not everyone, there are clear signs like back home between the gay and straight men, so it's not like every man in China is camp and therefore they are all equally straight because this is just their behaviour. It's that there is vast amount of potentially gay men everywhere in china and what I want to know is do they know they like boys or do they think they are just feminine. For instance I have a boy in my class that crosses his legs and and constantly has limp wrists and then I have another boy that crosses his legs and there is nothing remotely feminin about him. The comedy factor is even with the mass language barriers and culture differences camp is camp in any language. You could find your self a boyfriends easily, if you gay that is. No one admits to being gay though, In class frequently people are teased in a joking way about having boyfriends, but nothing menicing and it's normally the lads with girlfriends that joke about it, I would never let out right bullying occurs or discrimination, anyone that knows me can clarify I am an out and proud fag hag. I seem to attract gay men easier than straight men to be completely honest. Luckily I love the flamboyancy! The other curiosity is unlike England gay clubs are hidden, underground and not openly known to anyone unless you are gay. Which shows the secrecy involved. In Birmingham being seen in a gay bar has no reflection on your sexuality it just means you are guaranteed an amazing night. Add pure irony to this and in Birmingham the gay quarter and China town are in the same place! I wonder what they would think. In all honesty they wouldn't even bat an eyelid at a man wearing a fur muff (not that kind) or skipping down the road waving a rainbow flag.

They don't seem to notice things that would get boys/men ripped apart in the locker room at school for being gay at any tiny sign. Going to dance lessons is cool. Holding your girlfriends handbag, singing love songs whilst dressed as a thug is the in thing. A few months ago we went to see a live version of Xfactor. And all the performers we're the same, lots of songs we didn't know all made to pull at the heart strings. Then this gangster guy whose video showed him rapping and tagging in the streets came on, we thought wow Chinese rap has got to be amazing to listen to. Then he comes on kitted out like 50 cent and starts singing some heart rendering love song! The disappiment was huge. My point is over here it seems unless you are physically gay nothing you can do or say and no amount of camp behaviour will make you labeled gay. And I like it. They do the one thing we dont for a society that is meant to be accepting of homosexuality. They don't insult people with words for homosexual. In England there are countless insults which in fact just mean homosexual. And why I don't know. Litterally some of the best people I know are gay. The funniest, smartest not to mention beautiful. So if anything being gay should be a completment not something men get all offensive about. 

So yea maybe China have got this one down to a tea and their blind innocents has helped them.

This and that

I keep meaning to write and then I don't know what to say so I thought I would do another photograph blog and see if I'm inspired into words. 

So we went to Chenzhuo, 

We had amazing Mexican food, visited Misty Lake, 

Went on a boat 

In Caves 

Managed to get the tour bus man to drop us in to town somehow. If you don't ask you don't get right.

Wild night out, I'm sure we met someone famous, couldn't be sure. The boys ended up worse for ware but me and Jade had a great night winding and making Chinese friends.

The night was fab except for Jack having to be carried home and Shaun's jacket being robbed. When we complained to the manager they got the CCTV footage up and was able to see it being stolen. Two hours later they had found out who had it and agreed they would get it tomorrow, which was great but ruined our day plans. So we pottered around finally grabbed it and headed to the mountaining with cable carts. I'm not normally a fanny but with the China's normal health and safety polices I had to have some concern.

We was extremely high up! They made lots of noise and they looked at least 70 years old! Anyway we survived. We got to the top with an hour and a half until out train was leaving for changsha and obviously the last cable cart down had stopped. So now we had the mission of navigating our way down an epic mountain, at high speed, with out killing our selves! After much debate we agreed to walk the road route and thank the lord with in minutes a buggy came down the road, I jumped in front to stop him and everyone jumped on board. We make it to the bottom with an hour to go. Some school girls tell us what bus to get so the debate of taxi and bus stops as soon as jade goes sprinting past and we follow in histerics! We are on the bus and with language barriers it's quite easy for us to get 4 stops and 40 minutes confused as they are the same piasing signal! Anyway with positive thinking in our minds we sprint up the steps with literally 3 minutes till the train departs. We run to the front pushing chinamen left right and centre to find out out train is delayed!!!!! This never happens!!! So happy we agree to head to Helens after for food! In my case lasagne! It's actually really good! 

The weeks finishs on a high. 

The next week Cian Lorraine boyfriend is leaving and in order to keep her occupied and far from sad we get excited about our holidays. So with much faffing about and many mistakes we book our flights to Bali!!! I actually can't even remember how it happened or came into conversation. One moment we're going Thailand and Cambodia the next it's Bali! 

So the week was spent booking flights and doing research. Iv also been talking to David.

After my last blog would you believe we started talking and we're planing to travel together from September! Seems most things work out anyway we'll see what happens that's a long way off anything could happen. 

Friday night jade, cat and Evie came over and I cooked some healthy grub as that's the plan now the holidays are booked. I'm leaving the country with one of the most beautiful women I know, Iv got to at least not feel body conscious. Food demolished films watched we had an early night for comicon! Well.... 

This was the best thing Iv seen at college so far! 

Being mobbed was definitely the right word for Saturday, you would of thought we was the main attraction 

  It was an incredibly mental experience, after leaving we had a mass ordeal which we won't talk about and then eventually made it on the right bus home and on the look out for Benny's. We didn't find it but did find a nice Korean place! And low and behold three doors down is Benny's. It's ok I went Sunday and my god is it good! 

Anyway we're all sat in the restraunt and it becomes evident none of us are in the mood to go out. So agreement made we buy a load of snacks and was back home we're the boys are waiting at Lorraine's. We break the news and predrinks begins. Lorraine, Shaun and Shaun head out about 11, we grab all the  bedding and make a mass bed in the living room 

Anticipating being woken up by the others getting in at silly o'clock I was surprised when I here them get in and go to bed. We wake up, I Skype Queen which was a present morning wake up and then I make bacon and egg sarnies for everyone. The day consists of films chilling and more research.

I then discover I can fly to Aus for £50 so this is a potential plan to see David and then head to Thailand. I just want some sun! Any sun I don't care at this point the weather in China is actually shit ATM with increasing dangerous pollution levels I'm scared of telling my parents about as they are arriving in 34 days!!!!! Ahhhhh 

Anyway today I tried my first frozen yoghurt. I liked it a lot! 

The last few weeks in pictures

Iv decided to do a post mainly pictures. Keep my memories a live.

Thinking I'm a last on the back of a moped with a beer

Windswept 

Being hijacked for dancing by a very energetic polish man

I had my first date in china with a German/Chinese man.

There was Halloween and Bolton Shaun's birthday party where we raided a bar......

There was the cat walk ....

I had beans for the first time in 11 weeks

Standard china, with blue sky's 

 

Temple raiding 

Hours of over time which I actually loved! And a Friday night with pasta, cheese garlic bread and comedians 

Life is pretty grand ! 

It's strange...

Because sometimes I can happily write nonsense for hours and then other times I think I have nothing decent to say. But I think maybe that's just life. A lot of the time I can sit in a room full of my closest friends or family and talk for hours. Same with new people I have just met. I have a nack for being able to talk to any one literally about anything. And then other times I like to just sit back and observe, take in all I can. When there is a big group and lots of conversations are happening at once, I try to listen to them all at once. Or certain words grab my attention more than others. Why is that? What draws our attention, do we subconsciously have things we are more intrigued about or are we just listening for what sounds most interesting? I really don't know.

Living in China has become normal. I still haven't found anything that drives me mad about the place except two of my classes. There's nothing I'm craving I can't deal with out food wise. This morning we are cooking a big breakfast! The weather has now turned. I would say winter is in fact here! This week has gone from turenchal rain to beautiful blue sky's! It's like being in England apart from the blue sky's bring the sun here. I'm working all hours I can get my hands on at the moment with the idea to travel as much as possible when my holidays start. I'm also toying massively with the idea of traveling afterwards. Like really traveling. The kind where you just travel until your money runs out. It drives me mad there is so much I want to see and the most annoying part is there is actually no reason why I can't do it. I was thinking about my friend yesterday and his increasingly ablity to faff for hours about a simple decision when I realised something about my self. When I want to do something like really want to do it. I don't hesitate I will just do it. If it's move to china I will book my tickets. Go to Thailand I will book tickets. Go shopping I will do it. Cook and so on. When I'm not sure or umm and arrr over something for too long that's when I know really I don't want to do it. Because I'm actually quite impulsive and I do what I want, the majority of the time. I wouldn't say I'm stubborn, I'm very flexible and accommodating and always listen to others ideas because let's be honest we're not always ways right or know best. But if my mind is set it's set. So I think my next thought is I want someone to travel with. I want someone that wants to spend a good portion of time with no actual time restrictions actually pottering around the world and seeing everything there is to see. Because although I feel I definately have become so much more Independant now I am here, I want someone to share it with and I am a big pansy really. The idea of heading to Columbia on my own scares me. Yet is thrilling. What scares me more is going home and not having my fill of the world. I know I wont be happy. And that saddens me for two reasons. I don't want to go home and wish I was somewhere else. I want to go home content with the idea Iv done it. Iv seen everything I want to see. No more I wish I had of or I could be here right now. I want to go home knowing I did this, I did that I had the best time of my life and if I died tomorrow I would die happy knowing I did exactly the thing I wanted to do most. I think traveling makes you grow. It makes you see things in whole new prospective. It makes you grateful for everything you have and opens your eyes to certain things you would never even contemplate back home. The other thing that's daunting is after being away you want to come home and tell everyone you care about how amazing your experiences have been. When you did this and that. And in reality no one gives a shit. No one that hasn't been traveling, actually no that's not true no one that has no interesting in traveling gives a shit. Anyone that does but just hasn't done it, or can't because of commitments is open ears and you can see when they are talking to you that they are living through you. But anyone else ask the odd question and then is bored of the relentless stories. You become annoying. I never quite know if that's because they seriesly don't care or if it's because some people just like to talk about them selves more. But then again that could be flip reversed talking about your adventures could sound like a monologue of "listen to me and all my stories" to someone else. There's no equal footing. Maybe there should be a land for all the travelers out there. A kind of rehab to ease you in to normal life again. You go get all your stories out. For a few weeks you talk about nothing but,  then when your released it's all out your system and your too talked out to ever mention it again? Maybe this is what I'll do. 

Alternatively I went to sleep thinking about some form of charity I could create, but I fell asleep and now I have no idea what the amazing concept was! Bugger

What a week

This week has been wonderful! Tuesday we went to the football. Yes me, I went to the football, although it's not something I normally enjoy apart from the World Cup, this was so good. We went to see China vs Parague. The stadium was unreal and just walking in, being surrounded by thousands of fans was an experience. We bought flags and tshirts, the local news reporters recorded us and we had a billion photographs taken.

The stadium it's self was not what I expected. It was huge and so snazzy. There was 26,000 people there. As soon as the doors had shut everyone in our section started moving. When we asked what was happening they said we now move to better seats, so we joined the mass crowd and ended up with front row seats. Within the first 18 minutes China had scored which set the atmospher on fire, starting an epic Mexican wave around the stadium 3 times over. Then they scored again! I found my self getting very excited , jumping on chairs, cheering an everything. China remained 2-0 up until the last 15 minutes when Parague scored but even with the over time they we're unable to beat China. A local man told us that this was a first for China playing well. We must of brought them luck. Afterwards we headed to Helens for burgers and free beer! Proper man night. Once seated and food ordered a string of free drinks, tankards, pitchers of cocktails and more beers arrived. This on a normal day would of been amazing but we all had work in the morning and Shaun's and Rachel had to make the last train home. Regretfully we had to decline the gesture and pass the drinks on to the next table. Wednesday very tired I had 3 double classes which went swimmingly. On the evening I finally bit the bullet and and Lorraine dyed my hair. Luckily it came out fab. No more roots! Thursday I woke to find both my classes had been canceled so instead of heading back to bed I went shopping, in record time I might add. I got so many winter clothes for a bargin! I came home and tidied. At This point Lorraine is beyond excited as Cian is already on his way to China!!! I was still unsure what I was doing the evening as I was meant to be going for dinner with Jack but as he hadn't been paid along with a few others, which is awful considering we have now been in China for two months! My night consisted of more californiacation and being eaten alive by mozzys! First time in ages I slept horrendously. I woke up after a bad dream,boiling and covered in bites! Aircon and bite cream goes on and broken sleep continues. I wake up still with no plan for the weekend. I was initially meant to be going to the big Z to do some modelling ! Ha yes me modeling I can bearly take a selfie right! Well anyway the man told me he needed me to audition on Saturday and the shoot had been moved to Sunday so Cat and Evie asked me to join them in xiangers and I thought why not. I packed and headed straight there after classes, with a quick hello, nice to meet you to Cian as I was leaving. I get to the bus station, I will no longer be using, and the next bus isn't for an hour. While waiting for the bus the conductor man ushers me on a bus 20 minutes early. I'm all settled and talking to a nice lady when a man gets on and starts going mad that there's no seats left. I just know that I'm the problem but think hmm let's just wait it out and see. So when the lady takes my ticket she and the whole bus start laughing that I'm on the wrong bus and I have to quickly depart. Obviously my bus is then twenty minutes late! Finally on the bus, the debate then occurs do we head to the big z to meet the boys for a wild one. After much deliberation we decide to have a girls night plus beast in xiangers! It was like a sped up version of all our nights out but with only the best bits. We predrink and divulge private information as per. Head to dongers for free drinks, a spot of pole dancing and a massage this time. Then on to Soho. Straight on stage, but the best part about this night was I felt like I was at home with my girls. We danced the best way to dance like complete and utter twats! The lunges came out, squats! Few yoga moves a bit fishing and the lorn mowa! I have never seen Chinese people look so confused. And then when the Dj goes on his toilet break we manage to soften the stern bouncer who let's us play with the decs and mic! I even gave him a bit of a tickle and got a smile out of him.

Straight from here we head to Shoa Koa devour a lot of veg that I'm not intierly sure we paid for and head home. Where lots of pillow talk occurs. Jade was my cuddle buddy tonight, and isn't she snugly!

We wake up at 830 get ready and head to the girls to shower grab there stuff and make our way to the big Z.

 

The last section I wrote was deleted so I'll try again. I'm also in an extremely pissed off mood as my class has just told me I need more patients, because they don't understand. I said that's fjne but if you do not tell me you don't understand I think your just bored or not listening.

Anyway I also think the Chinese government have a deal with all tissue factories because they must be making a mint from it. You have to take your own toilet roll/tissues to the toilet in most places!

Anyway back to the weekend! We head to the girls get quickly showered after eating what can only be described as a Chinese oatcake and get a lift to the bus stop that arrives straight away and is half the price. The day is going well! We arrive drop our bags at Rachel's then head to meet the modeling guy. He and his gf take us to some snazzy restaurant and order a shed load of random food that is impossible to get through. Then on to the studio! God I don't know why I even considered doing it (actually I do, the money was great) but I juat can't pose to save my life, I got changed and was told to stand in a certain spot and move my legs around ha! It lasted a whole of ten minutes then we had a family portrait! 

The guys we're actually really nice so I wasn't that bothered about not getting it we then left them to go shopping! And shopping we did! I was really shopping for everyone else but I did treat my self to two beautiful bags for a steal. After entering every boutique on one road we then headed to what can only be described as China's Primark! It had everything, I quickly vacated so not to buy anything more than the two pairs of pumps for £9! 

We headed back to Rachel's with one thing in mind, Pizza! The lads we're off out on a lads night and we had fully embarced the girls night with pizza, face masks, foot masks and copious amounts of girl talk. Lots of hilarious stories later we head to bed to wake full refreshed and early enough for a maccys breakfast! We head home easily and I just chill out. Then get ready for the Belarus symphony orchestra with Jade. Some how she managed to get VIP tickets so after making the two hour journey to Jades we got a lift there and we're amazed it was set up in the base of mountain and was stunning

They played so many beautiful songs and then the opera singer came out and the whole night was just wonderful. Someone also bought us candy floss lol. 

At the end I got a lift to a taxi and headed home. The weekend was pretty much perfect! Exactly what I needed and so much fun to really catch up. As much as I love going out I actually love to just sit and chat. 

I also managed to avoid the 'date' with one if my students lol! So all in perfection 

Rambling

Iv been in china now nearly 2 months and I'm still waiting for it to get hard.

There are minor things that cause irritation and of course I've had the odd moment when I just want my mom but all in all I'm having the time of my life. Work is fun and rewarding at times tedious and frustrating as well as draining but for the most part I love it. I love my students well most, I have one class out of 12 where I don't like half the class but that's not bad out of 500 students. I do more hours than most the other teachers but seriously I don't mind. It keeps me busy yesterday both my classes we're cancelled so I went shopping! I was in and out with in an hour and half seriously record timing. I had a budget and didn't even over spend. As long as you shop in small boutiques privately owned your winning. Anyway by the time I was back I didn't know what to do with my self. I cleaned my flat, I straighterned my wardrobe and I watched a hell of a lot of californiacation. I am conscious not to spend my spare time eating as much as I would in England. With so much free time and now being in the swing of things having food in and snacks it makes it easy to just eat for the sake of it. Although anyone who knows me will be proud I bought a block of cheese the day I moved in and still have some left. That block has been rationed mercifully! 

It's not just me whose conscious about weight, but the most part of china. They spend for ever changing their appearance, I new about the whitening creams and centres to become paler, walking round with masks and umbrellas to never catch the sun, but little things that Iv seen that I find strange. You can by strips of stickiness to stick your eyes open! I'm being serious they are conscious of the one thing most the world associates china with. I have just realised this may sound vaguely racist I assure you it's not. Over here everything comes down to appearance. I have some students turn up for class dressed for a cat walk and the flip reverse side is they come dressed as 8 year olds. The diversity of my students ranges like their ability to grasp English.  And I wholey understand the difficulties. English is such a difficult language to grasp, I can just about speak it let alone write perfectly. Being dyslexic makes me appreciate how hard it is, (I'm also hoping this year teaching others will help improve my own as I am now so vigilant about everything I write) I can't get frustrated with them even when I want to. I have one lad that can't for the love of god say smile he says "smell" his mouth will just not form the word and in all honesty I think that's exactly how I must sound when I try and speak Chinese. I feel like Joey out of Friends. I hear it, I know how to say it, I think it and yet it comes out something else completely. English may have all different tenses and words sounding the same but meaning different things, trust me there are way more than you think. One night me and Shaun sat up discussing them for hours lol! But in China each word means four different things dependant on the tone! This can be a serious problem! Because saying somthing slightly different can completly balls up a whole sentence. And the looks you recieve can be anything from deathly to hilarious.

Anyway what I was getting at is appearance. I am automatically classed as a good teacher because of my appearance. It's not even my looks it's purely being white. I have found the word beautiful has lost all it's meaning out here. Everything is beautiful, I am told I am beautiful everyday and as much as you may think that sounds lovely it isn't. In normal life I'm not someone that likes words that are used for the sake of it. I truely think you should only say things you really mean.  So out here when beautiful is the only word they seem to associate with westerns it no longer has any impact or meaning. In England if someone other than my mom or a drunken sleeze told me I was beautiful I would more than likely go bright red and be overly touched, but here it's just a word. It has no meaning.  The way it seems to work out here is the better looking you are the higher up in social order you go. On reflection I guess that's how it was in school. The more beautiful you we're the more popular you we're. And then we grew up and your social stance at school meant naff all. Personalities finally became important! Woop woop! But here I can't see that happening any time soon. 

One thing I can see happening is a whole generation of Chinese people getting fat due to the mass influx of fast food restraunts everywhere! You can see it happening. No where in the world seems safe from KFC and Mcdonalds! And the quality of KFC here is horrific maccys is basicly the same as back home, although some only sell mcflurrys and others only sell chicken. It's very strange.

What I was getting at was even with everything I have just said I love it here. And with my mom coming out so soon it just makes it so much easier :) as well as Skype and then with the idea of 6 weeks off to go bask in beautiful sunshine I just can't comprehend going back to 9-5 in miserable weather! The big topic at the moment is so many people are already talking about staying another year. But for me there are 3 major complications. One my family and friends, I think Hayley and my mom may kill me if I stayed, two I have a job to go back to and 3 and I understand how ridiculous this will sound but if I ever plan to meet someone, get married and have kids I actually don't have that long left! Cringe I know to even think about such things. But it's true. Maybe I just won't have kids and spend my life bobbing around the world as a bachelorette Hmmm we'll see. 

Observations

I just want to point out today is a good day. Iv lost another Kg, I got up for class and both have been cancelled. I got my first lift off the security men and I'm off shopping. Not to mention my parents might be coming to see me for New Years :)))))! I plan to go into hotels today and ask for a discount! Worth a shot I reckon. Probably won't amount to anything but this is China and in all honesty anything goes. 

Anyway safety.

Safety and discipline are two things I have noticed massively. Safety, there isn't any,care free is most definitely a moot out here, even down to small things like the windows on buses. I could actually climb out the windows and  they are always open. There not like the tiny ones in England. The whole glass panel slides back so you get the full force of the wind/pollution whilst sat/stood/swinging on the bus. I'm sure I mentioned before about the child pooing on the bus? If I haven't, yes that goes too, into the bin of course. One thing someone brought to my attention which I had never considered is how do the parents know the child needs the toilet? In a way it shows how potty trained they are as they are able to convey they are about to soil them selves at such a young age. Would it be controversial to say they learn to not shit them selves a lot quicker than most other nationalities, simply because they don't wear nappies. Or maybe it's just a mothers instinct, I have no idea. I do know they have no clue when the child is about to throw up, as twice in one week in restaurants (nice ones) a child through up right next to my table! The first time apart from the smell it was funny as I was hung over. The second time I was in hysterics that it could happen yet again right next to my table, in the space of 3 days, maybe it's me? The best part is the parents walk off! They don't say sorry, or clean it up. It's just left. Or in the first instance it was so bad  the parents asked to be moved because of the smell! Cheers for that, really appreciated that.

Anyway Safty is not first and for most here, you'll see whole families on one moped with no helmets. You'll see the most dangerous driving. You'll see man holes vaguely covered and wires hanging down here and there. But on the flip side, no one drives that fast, road rage never occurs and everyone knows to not walk over the man holes. Life is so simple here in so many ways.  What they say they mean. What they want to do they do. If they can help you they will. Obviously like all races there are exceptions to the rule but right now my happy bubble hasn't been burst just yet.

I also mentioned discipline. I have seen children smacked, heard teachers talk about hitting children and when asking my students for imaginative ideas how to use a ruler they all came up with discipline, beat children.

I am not saying that I am an advocate for child abuse far from it, get me talking about obese children and I won't stop. But what I will say observing a nationality and over 500 of my own students I have gathered that maybe being strict from a young age makes a massive difference in comparison to our views at home. My students want to learn, well most of them, they work hard, and stupidly long hours and are attentive. Which was nothing like school when I was there and from what I gather from friends who are teachers back home, it's only got worse. The other thing about Chinese students is they don't seem to have a real concept on life. They are still teenagers in my eyes. I had to tell someone to work with a boy, sorry no man, they're 21 for god sake, the other day and it was like talking to 5 year olds. But again this is their culture. The culture I love, and still adjusting to.  Sorry off on a tangent again.  The point I'm making is the more discipline instilled at a young age seems to make a calmer, friendlier, happier adult. I love England, it is my home. But Everyone in China seems to think England is full of happy, beautiful, smiley people who are all lovely and kind to each. When in reality if you walk down the street smiling at everyone you will get the odd arseholes who will ask you "what your staring at". Or talking to random children can end in any sort of accusation. After working with children for 4 years one thing I can strongly say I believe in is children need to be taught, manors, discipline (not a beating,just something stern) and appreciation. The expectations of children in England and most of the western world are ridiculous. Children as young as 2 have iPads! What happened to playing with dolls and mud. We are an electronic generation with spoilt children and an increasing amount of people eating them selves to an early grave, while the other half of the world die of malaria, dehydration and starvation! 

Well this really didn't go where I expected ha! This is what happens when I'm stuck on a bus and left to blab on.

But yes safety and discipline that's they key points I was getting at:) 

A recent debate has occurred

A recent debate has occurred between friends across continents and sexes and that is what is a fuck buddie? Now being female I assumed it was what the titles states someone you have sex with and that is all and talking to close female friends they share the same view. It is just sex and that is all. But when asking men the same question they seem to think it's more. Sex, cuddles, chilling, watching films and hanging out. But this is where the dilema lies because when these things happen, to us (women) that is more than just FB's. That is a basis of a relationship, spending time together and getting to know each other is how wires get crossed. I now understand why so many people end up in tears or men assume women are to needy and clingy when in fact they have clearly stated it is nothing more than what it says on the tin. 

Women are women and if a man does more than they say they will, we will assume it is more than what it is this. What I've figured out is men want all the nicestes of a relationship and of course the sex but with out the actual commitment. But that in it's self leads to the confusion. It makes something that has clearly been stated more complex. Maybe this is because the man assumes that this is what the women wants. But really anyone that signs up for this unless they think they can change the mans thoughts and make them fall madly in love, I don't personally know, knows the deal. They know it is what it is. But when the cuddles and kisses and time spent just hanging out. Cooking dinner, constant text and increase interest gets involved that's the begining of something. Whether both parties want it or not.

My own personal opinion is the only thing that dificierates between a friend and a boyfriend is sex. Otherwise your just friends. Or alternatively fuck buddies. 

Pensive

I have been in an extremely pensive mood today so thought I would just write, as I currently have no one to talk to.

There are only a few bug bears about China for me and none of them actually involve China persay. The main one is the time difference, I hate having so much free time and not actually being able to talk to anyone back home when I want to. There has to be constant mathematics and consideration involved, because not everyone sleeps with their phone on do not distrurb like me.

The other is not being able to sort stuff out back home myself! For starters I hate O2!!! Remember I mentioned them trying to charge me an extra £212 well my brother spoke to them and they said it was a mistake. I also had a confirmation email to say that my balance was now zero and sorry for the inconvience, yet today they have taken the £212 out or my bank, after I removed the extra money incase this actually happened so now I'm over drawn and will receive a fine from O2 no doubt and Barclays!!!! Seriously I have had problem after problem with them ever since I said I was leaving! Advice buy a phone and then Just by a roll over sim! So much easier. The problem is there is nothing I can do. I can't ring them, I can't email them as they don't ever give out an email address where you can contact a human being and to talk to the guru they need to send me a text to my number which no longer exsits! The whole reason for paying so much money in the first place! 

Western problems in china! Not the main ones I guess people expected. Language barrier, toilets, food?

The thing is the language barrier I expected im in their country I'm the nusicance not them. And yet they try so hard to make an effort to speak English to me. One thing I have found about China, the people are the friendliest in the world, I think they trump the Cambodians . I have never been anywhere where I feel appreciated so much for doing nothing. I don't think it's something you can explain in words you really have to experience it. It's as if our actual being is amazing to them. Granted most will never have seen a white person before, but I still can't think of what that's comprehendable to in England. Maybe if a naked nun walked the streets but to be quite frank living in Birmingham one of the most diverse places in England sets you up seeing pretty much every/anything. 

So when people stop in the street and take pictures or my students who I have been teaching for 3 weeks still take sneaky pictures or get excited when I speak to them directly, I don't get it. I think it would be extremely easy to become big headed over here or reverse that if you need an ego boost! China is the place to make you feel special, to Make you feel like your doing something good and worth while even if it's just spending an extra 5 minutes talking to someone or telling them their English is great. You truely will have made their day/week! 

The toilets, as horrid as they can be are easy to get used to and in hopping they give me an amazing derrier by the end of the year. One this I do find funny every time, all the advertisements are at the bottom of the door lol. Eye level with where you will be squating, who said they hadn't thought of everything!

And the food! I love the food, everything is so flavour some and healthy! And cheap. I'm eating like a queen for no more than a pound a day and that's pushing it and I'm losing weight like no tomorrow. I am going to have to figure out how to stop soon though because I will waste away. But I have no complaints, if I really want western food I can get it. But I find I'm always I'll after soay as well stick to the cheap orthentic food that's making me thin! It's a win win situation. 

I'm also finding the idea of coming home strange already. (Don't panic mom) it's more the idea of coming home to a job, which I am extremely lucky to still have, that I'm not appreciated in. A job where as much as I used to love and knew I was making a difference, changed so dramatically that it sucked the fun out of it and me. I am the type of person who wants, no needs to love life and that's everything in it. My friends and family I can't wish for anything more but work is such a huge part I need to enjoy it. I understand that we get one life and I don't want to spend the majority of it wishing I had done this or wondering why I didn't do that. Or spending 37 hours a week doing somthing that makes me miserable. Ideally I will meet someone who wants to travel the world whilst working and pop home regularly to see everyone I love. But what we want and actually come across are two completely different things. I am wondering off on a tangent again. 

But yes right now I'm loving life and everything about it, with the exception of missing my loved ones. Although so much can change in the space of a second, please nobody think I'm not coming home!!!

Let's try this again.... The big Z

I have already wrote this once and lost it so if the enthusiasm is gone I apologise!

Thursday is my worst day for classes mainly because they don't care! It's a hard line between understanding they work stupidly long hours at uni and I am just an added extra hour to their day, to some of the students actually want to learn and and it's not fair that their lessons are interrupted by people that can't be arsed. So I basicly got angry I shouted at them! And confiscated two phones! Do not sit in my lesson and watch a film! I think next week I may just say if you don't want to learn go to the back. With other classes though the ones who struggle the most and I pick to answer more seem to like me more for it! I'm here to help make them better and I actually want to. It's so confusing! Iv also decided to say yes to the lunch invites and improve my Chinese! It's needed and though I can understand enough to get by I want to get a lot better so why not! I have quite a few students that are actually hilarious and good at English so can only be fun!

So lessons done for the day, fashion parade with Lorraine done, showered and packed I jump on the bus with new directions to Jacks house! Just as I'm about to get on my connecting bus, which I found btw (Zach Nelson if you read this thanks it's a lot quicker) Jack text me to say I'm going to have to work now until 9 at night sorry!! I am like what!!!!! Retreat off the bus as I'm stood there a white blonde version of a person starts waving at me from a bus! It's Lorraine? Well Lorraine was in her apartment the last I had seen so some how this cracked me up as the chances of something like that happening is never. It's like my Aunty said to me last night, my friends grandson is out there for his second year you should look out for him, he's lovely lad and mixed race. I said "is he in Chansha then" she said "no but it can't be that hard to find him can it" I then proceeded to explain how there are 1.6 billion people in China, 8million in Changsha and only a few 100 westerners in Changsha. She said exactly only a few 100 he should be easy to spot! Seriously had me and my mom giggling! I left it at that. I think she has the impression we all walk round in masses lol! 

Anyway Jack was joking wasn't he, the bellend. So I got on the next bus and following Jacks directions got lost getting off the bus at the wrong stop. We then proceeded to play a game of cat and mouse looking for each other. 20 minutes late......all is good. I am found, water melon and drink are bought we head back to Jacks and in standard Chinese fashion we meet a new Chinese friend who speaks very good English. And tells us all about his life long plans!  

After making it in to the flat we quickly get ready as Jack has 1 unit of electric left. Then we sit and wait for Colin and his wife in semi darkness lol! 

Finally they arrive we drink a few in Colin's and head out for food! Obviously as we are eating we are surrounded by people for photos and gambaying! And on the way to the club we pick up some fans.

The club is obviously empty as it's Thursday but there's a dance floor and music and free drink not a lot more you can ask for! We dance, we drink! We head home. The joys of small towns you can walk everywhere. We got home pretty quickly with a stop off for Jack to eat the biggest bowl of rice ever devoured by one human being and head to bed knowing tomorrow is the big one! 

We wake and head to the gym (yes me too) I get a free trial and while in the gym and Jacks doing his "tri's, bi's fri's" I was just pottering around looking for machinery that I could understand and actually use. Two people came up and stood right in front of me and just watched me and then took me to the room with mats and then another two personal trainers noticed I didn't really know what I was doing and decided to give me a full on work out session each for the two hour we was there. (I can hardly move my arms) in the end I was like Jack we need to go I can't do any more! Feeling shaky and weak we grab some food for lunch and Jack gets some electricity put on his card. So he comes in and is like why isn't it working??? Maybe we need to give it some time. After a while he's like maybe I should do something with this card hang on. So he runs down stairs and obviously doessomething  because a second later everything is back on! So yes moral of the story once you put money on the card, put the card in the electric box!

Showers accomplished food eaten and Jack packed we head to central station to meet the others. 

So the train we was supposed to get should of been prebooked so we decided to get the coach. Whilst waiting for everyone to arrive we see Irish Shaun. Seriously these things never happen! He was all packed and heading to Shanghi to watch a big Irish football match. 

We get on the coach after eating some horrific food! Next stop the Big Z!

So as there is 8 of us. 4 are at Shaun's and 4 at Rachel's. We get to Shaun's and his apartment is an amazing brand new bungalow with a bed that feels like rock! I understand harder beds are good for your back but nothing that hard can be good for your hips. Tips for china sleep on your back or expect bruises. 

Anyway I walk into the bathroom and the biggest spider runs ! I mean it's so big the boys scream too! Which made me feel better after screaming way too much.  Murder committed, we quickly get ready and predrink then head to Sams bar. Once there we discover that Noël and Rachel who we new had a date (oh how I love romance) are now actually a full fledged couple!!! Omg literally word spreads quickly, my fault but it was happy news, and when they walk In the whole place starts clapping as if they're newly weds! Reunited 

We head to the club we've heard all about. Now we haven't actually been to any club clubs yet so 15 white people walk in and it's like a massive big draw every head is turned to us as we make our way through the crowd. The Dj announces us and free drinks are brought straight over to our area that has miraculously appeared. At this point there is a banana and a minion dancing onstage so I assume you know what's coming next! All of us make our way to the stage and it's like the crowd wakes from a trance, we start dancing they start dancing! I don't quite know where the minion and banana went. The night continuous with lots of dancing, gambaying, photos being taken and an all round good night! Beasht is on it big time and gets a bottle of Henessay! The real stuff! 

As you can see he's having a very good time! And he's trimmed the beard! 

Dancing done we head for food! Now zhouzho doesn't have Shoa Koa :( but they do have food street so after finally making it there with a few people lost along the way (they are called the lost boys for a reason) food is ordered drinks are drank and speaches are made! For me the night was celebrating Lorraine finally getting her visa sorted and being able to stay with me all year! Woop! Everything's all good until two things happen Jack starts calling me, he has no idea where he is or where he has been for the last few hours and doesn't know how to get any where and the bill at the restraunt is 200rmb more than it should be as the drinks have already been paid for! At this point it's 5 in the morning I'm full, I'm tired and I want to go home! The lads put us in a taxi as it seems things are getting a tad bad. We then get home and My plan to read Jack the address from the wall out side the uni (as no one who actually lives at the school knows what it is called) is faulted as there is a missing letter and I litrally have no idea what the missing letter can be! So when Shaun gets back after nearly getting arrested, he asked the security man to tell the taxi driver the address! Finally lost boy is on his way home. Bed time!!! 

3 hours later Doug bangs on the door and decides he is very excitable and just wants to talk very loudly! Time for an RE lesson this week! Did you know the Catholics never killed Jesus ??? It was was the big big Jews! 

Starvation kicks in we wake the others who some how have not woken even with Doug's loud excitableness and we head to meet the others and get food! So you would think finding a Chinese restraunt in China would be easy! Apparently not in the Big Z! We settle for a western Chinese place with extremely comfy seats! Food randomly picked we settle down for the next few hours! 

Food was good! Random but good! And not half as much as expected. We then head to Carrefour and maccys! And then find monkeys which wasn't actually nice as they had collars on!

We make it to the bus station just as the bus arrives say our good byes and head home! We arrive at a new station which causes sudden confusion but ultimately isn't a problem as it's close to us. 

Our plans for Pizza Hut abolished we jump in a taxi and head home. Poached eggs on toast it is! Although I am ashamed at the state as it was Lorraine's first time. 

Skyping begins. I see mother and Aunty Ann this is when she tells me about her friends grandson. And then I skype the girls as they're all together in Manchester! I don't know why but when I saw them all together I burst out crying :( and seeing Sarah there too! It's like it all became very real some how! That must sound stupid. But yes general shit chated, gossip swapped, boobs flashed and faces pulled I said good night and headed to bed! 

It's now Sunday and I have a class which I am certain no one is going to turn up for! Fingers crossed! 

It's Wednesday

.... And so far so good! Monday apart from still being half dead was good apart from one major hiccup.

So I got up did my washing, cleaned and did my lesson plans, Connor came round and he the amazing boy that he is managed to sort my VPN out so I now have internet woop! 

First class was good although the first student, my favourite not only for her name Potato yes her name is Potatoe, when asked how was your weekend told me her grandma had died! Deathly silence followed! Seriously I don't know enough words in English, let alone chinese to console someone in front of a whole class about that. Anyway after that things went rather smoothly, they had their books so my over the top lesson plan was only partly needed. I also brought Connor into the lesson briefly as I had promised Seven (another name) that I would introduce her to an English man! There was squeals! Expected for such a good lucking man. Anyway after I headed home and Connor had been to the shops I was cooking. The actual babe had brought icecream. Real ice cream and the ingredients for garlic bread, deal was done I made the pasta he did the garlic bread! Amazing, seriously amazing! Whilst all this was happening we had tried and continued to buffer our way through In Bruges as after hearing it line for line Sunday I thought why not actually watch it! 3 and a half hours later I conquer it is a very good film! As the chiore seem to practice out side my window, it's definitely the place on campus to be, I slept on the sofa. Monday over and out.

Tuesday I wake up to military training again! Luckily I'm at work for 8 so I just get ready and pack up my bag to head straight to Dougs after lessons! I can't figure out which class is my fav but this is definitely one of them. I did sentence wars on the board at the end and the things written about Japan made me cringe and laugh all in one. 

I head to the bus stop with route in mind jump on (with my new rail card that I will never let out of my sight) and start reading! I have to stop reading on buses because I always miss my stop. Luckily I now know a bus straight to the bus station, again silver linings. And also figured out how to get a bus to Doug's that he didn't even know about. I get there and take a Pugh next to the military girls and realised that my blonde hair is distracting them. At my college no one seems to look so I assume it's the basis of fresh meat! Then Doug arrives we hug standard British behaviour and a cawrus  of 18 year old start giggling, honestly! We grab some food, swap gossip and head to Doug's to watch a film. Which we fail to do as we make up our own film quiz! Inbetween this I get a message from Lorraine clearly in bits about the massive cock up in Hong Kong. With some pretty good team work we find out where she is book her a hotel and give her exact directions to get there. Still no film at this point and Doug has to go to a meeting. 

So I Skype Matt! Who I haven't seen in 3 weeks and massivly miss his humour I would love to divulge all his beautiful stories about the Chinese female anatomy but you'll have to ask him your self. Doug returns, we continue the 3 way and then recieve a message from Lorraine that the arse holes in Hong Kong won't let her in as it's booked in my name. Even though I sent an email and my passport photo to them, if my identity is stolen this will be the reason why!

Anyway problem finally fixed and still no film watched Rebecca comes back and we head for burgers! Hmmmm not to sure I was a massive fan but it was alright. I find everytime I eat western food I end up with stomachache, my conclusion there is to much crap in western food! 

I make it home with out being sick and head to bed reasonably early! Then the calls, Skype and text start. But at least I saw some beautiful faces, created a plan for the weekend and managed to get a man rant in! 

Wednesday I got paid!!!!! And an extra 600 for teachers day I didn't know about! Woop although another jaw dropper! Asked my first student today what did you do the weekend! Guess, go on guess! Her grandad died!!!! Can you fucking believe it! I was like is this a sick joke??? The a student who told me could play the guitar and brought her guitar in and actually played! She was so good as well! 

Lesson 2 I have an admirer in the form of a women! She's sweet enough though. Two tips when they ask for a group photo if your going to say yes make sure it's on their phone, other wise they ask if you have wechat and me not being so wise so early said yes! I had 36 new adds by the end of the lesson and I don't know who any of them are!!! 

In brief

So Friday after finally getting Mr procrastination ready and fed we headed to Xiangtan. In the metro I had a typical me moment and managed to drop my brand new travel card down the bastard toilet. In the moment it took me to think 'oh god I'm going to have to put my hand in there' it slid straight down the hole, as I now have learnt to use squatters the correct way, it clearly did me no favours! Some form of luck would be a women heard me scream in anger in the toilet and somehow I managed to convey what I had done and she got me up stairs and through security with out having to pay a fine! Silver linings and all that jazz. So we made our way to the coach station and Jack made a fan called Sam who was so in ore of his face, he told him he looked famous so I though fuck it! I said "You know Sam, he really is famous in England!" His face was worth Jacks glare. I then stood back and listen to him explain how he played a stable boy in the black women lol! After finally getting on a bus that took an hour to arrive and making our way to meet Noël we had decided our first port of call would be Cindy's cafe to get some duck and cabbage! And pop into see Diablo! These two things ticked off the list we head to Marlene's for beer and back to the boys! The drinking commenced, the girls arrive and the night begins.

All very much in a blurr we end up in a night club. With in minutes of being in there me and the girls have a plan, grab a glass and let's go get some free drinks. So that's what we did after our 2nd unsuccessful attempt, we was in. We made friends with a mass group of Chinese people who loved us. Currently on stage right next to us was a professional dancer, obviously paid to dance on stage. Well after a few 100 gambays! I jumped on stage and brought the full A team up with me! Only later was I told this didn't bode well with the actual dancer and she was found sitting cross armed at the side of the stage unimpressed! Everything gets a bit messy after all the spinning, dancing, jumping and salasa dancing. The next thing I remember is being lost with jack and heading to a bar on the opposite side of the road. In the shady place Jack took over the music some how wangled yet again more free beer and peanuts and then.... And then we are given a Samarui sword to play with as long as we wear a silly hat!!! The excitement on the boys face lol!!! After this or before I can't quite remember we head back over to Soho and find my chinese friends who invite us into there KTV room for more free beer. Well if any of you reading this know Jack you would know that he has a fetish for karaoke but he's just not that amazing at it. Half way through murdering a traditional chinese song someone dashes a bottle at his head! Misses, obviously or I wouldn't have found it so funny. It was just the reaction. The utter shock and demanding down the mic "who threw that" he then slams the mic down and we run out. Jack now covered in beer, we head down stairs and find Noël on the sofa. Not sure what happened after this. I was told we got back decided to have shots of tequila we have one and I literally pass out! The wild one I am!

The initial plan was to head back to changsha for Saturday but Noel mangaged to give his phone away and Beasht basiclly ruined his foot so we decided to stay another night.

I wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed along with Noël and we head out for the water run. At this point I'm obviously still pissed as I'm walking the streets in my pjs happy as Larry.  We get back and decide it's time for food, off to Bennies we go. Then we go for hair cuts I say we I mean the boys! 15¥ for a trim is unreal especially as it's by a man with the tallest up do Iv seen to date. We head home and then the festering begins! 

We Mong out and wait for the rest of the clan to arrive and the girls to return. And then head out ready to meet Shaun! 

Now Shaun is a living leg-end but at this point I'm dying and the boy decided to head to Xiangtan with no bastard phone. So you can only imagine how well that turns out when we're in a massive city with no form of communication hanging out my arse. We decide to split up and start the search. After I have done my search I head back to base point to see Jack closing in on a very strange child lol. Nothing off, the boy was just weird and Jack was trying to shake his hand. We stand waiting, expressing mass amounts of positive mental attitude! Obviously two blonde white people stood in a busy area attracts looks. Jack says "those 3 girls keep looking and staring I bet they want a picture" he walks a little closer to them as they have been hovering for a whole now and says do you want a picture they say "Yes" and then point to me! Hilarious!

Anyway ten minutes later low and behold who do we see! Only Noël and Shaun! Shaun arrives with all his essentials 2 bottles of beer. The night can finally begin.

We head to lesbian central and I try and get over my first beer. It's a slow process but I get there. Then it's off to Marlene's again for the bants and beers and then the boys. The drinking begins and it's really not easy! Then the bijuie comes out mixed with pear juice! Actually a master invention. Drinking games commence and I'm finally over the worst of it! Or so I think.

The club we plan to go to is shut so we end up in the same place as the night before it's like déjà vu. Except I have a proper ebb at one point. That over I then jump back on stage and start going crazy with Shaun! I must learn that even when I am drunk I am never cool! And there was video evidence to reiterate this! I litrally had a glance and that was enough.

So after madness drunk dancing where next, but the Shoa Koa! Amazing as per! We realised towards the end we had lost Noël and Jack so we went looking and found them in a tent full of chinese people, so clearly we join in! The Chinese love to give their drink away! After a heart warming chat with Noël, who by the way is one of the nicest blokes in the entire world (as well as being on top form when it comes to Irish history)! 

We decided to walk home as it's actually possible to do this in Xiangtan very excitable for some reason we (I say we mainly me) hopped, skipped ran and galloped home like wild children. With the exception of jack! Jack had got blatoed! Completely and utterly hammered! Not his finest hour! But anyway we made it back and some how the drinking continued and photos we're taken to create that epic masterpiece 

Eventually bed time called cuddles commenced and the night ended!

Then morning began and 3 hours of floor time fillers started and lying down dancing. Along with a complete monologue of In Bruges and another Irish lesson! 

When it was time to depart and I had actually stood up! I realised I was in a seriously bad place! Not even Bennies could fix me! Soon as we got to the station our bus was full but another arrived and Jade clevererly managed to get the back seat enabling me to lie down again. All was right again until I had to get my bus home! Long story short I made it and I'm alive :)